How does one calm an angry monkey?
Dear Human (presumably),
Firstly, do not approach the monkey. Some monkeys have diseases that can be deadly. Then, please call animal control to help deal with the monkey. If absolutely necessary, look up what should be done to calm (or avoid angering further) your specific species of monkey.
-Kevin the Pigeon
Need advice? Send Kevin a question at [email protected], or use our anonymous form. (Your anonymity is guaranteed either way.)