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Kevin’s Corner – Monkey Invasion?


Help the monkeys have invaded and taken my children and subpar dog. What do I do! They’re now attacking my bunker!!!!!


Dear Human (presumably),

Once again, try calling animal control. Try to reinforce your bunker, and do not venture out to try and rescue your children and subpar dog. I know you may feel guilty for not trying to save them, but the monkeys will only attack you as well.

-Kevin the Pigeon


Need advice? Send Kevin a question at [email protected], or use our anonymous form. (Your anonymity is guaranteed either way.)

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