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The Bayhawk Bearer

The Bayhawk Bearer

American Flag at a Low Angle
Memorial Day 2024
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Mother and Child under a Beautiful Sunset
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Kevin’s Corner – Monkey Thieves?


How do you file a report for monkeys who have stolen you hair and bananas?


Dear Human (presumably),

I am unfamiliar with human legal systems, as I am a pigeon, but I recommend going to your police office and asking them how to file this report. I am glad to hear the monkey invasion has subsided.

-Kevin the Pigeon


Need advice? Send Kevin a question at [email protected], or use our anonymous form. (Your anonymity is guaranteed either way.)

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