Paying It Forward- A term that is in other words used to say, “Whenever someone does something kind, do the same with someone else.”
While simple in nature, its more powerful than we may think. The psychology behind it is simple; according to the author Catherine Ryan Hyde, it’s a domino effect of a phenomenon. When someone is shown kindness or impacted by a kind act, and this initial kindness leads to “paying it forward”, where the ‘dominos’ slowly fall as the chain continues.
The simplicity of the phenomenon is similar to it’s effects, too. By doing something as simple as giving a friendly smile to someone or donating to a particular charity on April 28th has a greater impact than most may think. Research done by the American Psychiatric Association stated that a majority of people who were shown kindness were happy (56%) and grateful (51%), opposed to any other negative emotions. It shows that even the smallest act on kindness one day might just make someone’s day- or even week.
But why isn’t this behavior normalized? Or rather, where has the kindness gone?
There is a belief that the world has become “unkind” in the past decade. The influx of social media apps and the disconnect might be at fault, but I believe that it’s just how we’ve perceived kindness as a society.
Many ‘kind’ individuals either feel insecure/wary about complimenting others, or have shared a bad experience before when trying to. However, recipients of kindness can either be suspicious or feel uncomfortable by the kindness, because of the belief that one doesn’t deserve such treatment.
It all comes down to the insecurities of our society. Contributing a more positive environment is emboldening and might seem scary, but even the most miniscule tasks can make a big difference in our society. The courage that someone chooses to lead with, not out of moral obligation but by their own heart, can help bring us people together.
As Hyde said, it is a domino chain of effects. By contributing through our own acts of kindness, we influence each other, and the replication of that behavior will make it more genuine and less out of the obligation of paying it back. That’s not what April 28th is about, it’s for the people who wish to see authenticity and real kindness in our world. Really, helping uplift each other and ourselves is the kindest thing we can do, one step at a time.
Ideas for “Pay it Forward” Day (Deeds that shouldn’t be “paid back”):
- Leave a kind note somewhere where people can see.
- Helping out a person of authority, without being asked to (Teacher, Principal).
- Active listening to classmates or colleagues, genuine interest in what they say.
- Donating or volunteering at charities and events.
- Hold the door open for someone.
- Taking care and being kind to yourself.
