How much money would it cost to buy out the government. Im planning on doing it and I want to know how much money I would need.

Dear Human (presumably),

As I am a pigeon, I am not certain what amount of human money you would need to buy out the human government. I suppose it would depend on what you mean by “buy out.” If you mean you would like to own the government, I do not believe that is possible, and the government may be irritated with your actions. If you mean you would like to bribe officials and therefore have functional control over the government’s decisions, I assume the price would vary depending on how much each government worker believes their service to you to be worth. I cannot recommend you attempt this however, because it is illegal and will very likely get you criminal charges. Either way I urge you not to attempt this probably extremely expensive endeavor.

-Kevin the Pigeon

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